5-12-99, Today's Youth Issue, The Shifting Times

TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF ADD/ADHD CHILDREN
©1999 by Susanne M. Alexander

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John F. Taylor Ph.D. is a consulting clinical psychologist, the president of A.D.D.-Plus and is widely regarded as an innovator and pioneering authority in the field of Attention Deficit Disorder. He is the author of numerous books, videos, audiotapes, educational resource materials and articles in journals and professional newsletters internationally.

Dr. Taylor is a frequent keynote speaker at national and regional conferences and on interview shows in the fields of mental health and education. His presentation on "Beyond Ritalin: Mega-Answers to ADHD" is the most frequently presented day-long class on ADHD in the world.

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Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and the related Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can challenge children, parents and teachers. It is the most commonly diagnosed pediatric psychiatric disorder, involving 1 of every 20 children, and one of the most controversial. John Taylor, Ph.D., a consulting clinical psychologist, is making a difference in lives, homes and classrooms throughout the world. Dr. Taylor and his wife Linda both have this condition, as do five of their eight children.

Dr. Taylor said that people generally first try using standard behavior modification methods, with a focus on reward, punish, timeout and ignore. This approach lowers children's self-esteem and pushes them towards perfectionism.

"Waiting until children perform well and then passing judgement on the quality of their performance ("You did a good job.") is too judgmental for ADHD children who already feel unaccepted and can well evaluate the imperfections in their own performance," said Dr. Taylor. "I advocate giving uplifting messages all along the path of a child's effort, regardless of quality of performance, and not even mentioning the quality. This better process of uplifting self-esteem is known as 'encouragement'. Whereas praise is judgmental, encouragement is accepting. Whereas praise waits for high quality performance to occur, encouragement bathes the child in uplift from the start."

He has developed "Super Strokes," statements and actions that tend to develop, maintain, or enhance the child's experiencing of self-worth, social impact, self-direction or self-confidence. These include:

GRATITUDE: "I am grateful for what you did."

SHARING A SKILL: "Are there any other students whom you can help in math now?"

SOCIAL IMPACT: "When you did that, it allowed me to rest 5 minutes."

"If parents and teachers use the encouragement principles and natural and logical consequences as their primary discipline techniques, they generally will raise, healthier, happier children, just as we have," said Dr. Taylor. "Wise child discipline puts the emphasis on preventing misbehavior in the first place by keeping the children's needs met. All misbehavior is a reflection of unmet needs."

Dr. Taylor's work is lighting up parents and school systems in Northeast Ohio. Kate Preece of Rocky River got so excited about his work that she launched a project to have Dr. Taylor come speak at the Bay Village High School this past January. M.O.M.S. (Motivating Overactive Minds Successfully) became the steering group, and Preece took a Self-Expression and Leadership training course from Landmark Education to help equip her for the task.

By the time Dr. Taylor arrived, the excitement got ten area school systems, the Ohio League of Nursing and the Ohio Board of Social Work all involved. Other school districts and agencies have continued to join in, and Dr. Taylor will return to the area November 5-7 to meet with children, parents, educators, and medical professionals at the Ohio Protection and Advocacy Association building in Cleveland.

"We really want to honor the courage it takes to parent and teach, and the greatness of all children," said Preece. "We want these kids to be living a life they love, and we want their parents to live a life they love also." Marital problems are common in these households, because parents are uncertain about what to do and how to discipline their children. ADD/ADHD also tend to run in families, and many parents have the conditions but are undiagnosed and untreated.

Tony DiBiasio, Ph.D., Elementary School Counselor for Fairview Park Public Schools and a counselor at Psychological and Behavioral Consultants in Westlake, uses Dr. Taylor's methods. "All ADHD children/adolescents have talent--musical, visual, spatial, artistic or expressive. If we approach them with a strength focus, rather than a deficit focus, then we have a really positive chance to turn these students around and help them feel they can be successful and productive, and that they are unique and special in a good way, not in a way that causes pain and anguish for themselves and their families."

Dr. DiBiasio said successful treatment needs to have three components: a thorough evaluation, education of the family and teachers, and intervention (medicine if necessary, diet, academic and social). He observes that it is most appropriate for a child and adolescent psychologist or psychiatrist to do the evaluation, rather than only the family physician as often happens. Families need to be thoroughly familiar with the child's food and chemical sensitivities, teachers have many tools to try in the classroom and children can be assisted in developing friendships.

"Hyperactive individuals tend to attract new friends, but can't hold them well," said Dr. Taylor. "ADD individuals don't attract many friends, but hold them and connect well with them. His "Friendship Skills" list includes "Friend chooses what to play" and "Let the friend go first."

One of the main things that can interfere with relationships is anger, both in children and adults. Dr. Taylor advocates starting with biochemical treatment such as diet, nutrition and medication where necessary. Then, it's important to set up regular meetings to allow the child to express what is irritating or frustrating.

Dr. Taylor tells the children to play their ACE. ADAPT--change their approach to something; CONFRONT whoever is hurting them; ESCAPE--leave the scene of frustration. "Anger is the icing on the cake of hurt or pain. It is the smoke alarm of needs not being met, not the fire," said Dr. Taylor. "Never tell an ADD child, 'Don't be angry', but tell them to play their ACE with their anger." Running around a gym or outside, doing jumping jacks, using punching bags, all can help the physical release of anger. Movement therapies (such as art, music or dance therapy) can also be very helpful.

The two most difficult times of the day for these families are mornings and bedtimes. Getting organized in the morning and unwinding for sleep are both sources of conflict. Dr. Taylor calls it the "scatterbrained grizzly bear phenomenon." If steps aren't taken to use new methods, child abuse can result, and the constant conflict can "chew into parents' sense of loving their own child and create terrible doubts about their worth as parents," said Dr. Taylor. ADD/ADHD children also require a high level of energy, and parents can become exhausted trying methods that don't work well.

Wally and Mary Kay Wysong have struggled with raising Tim, their 13-year old son who has inattentive ADD. They are learning new ways of supporting him. "We do a lot of time management, time questioning, planning and structuring," said Mary Kay. "It's his responsibility to manage this with our support."

Digestive problems and allergies are common ailments in ADD/ADHD children. Wysong's are eliminating food additives from Tim's diet and encouraging him to make healthy choices away from home. They have also added vitamin supplements and are "trickle-feeding" him protein. "It's important that he takes an active role in his own nutrition," said Mary Kay.

Wally has been frustrated and in conflict with Tim for years, so he attended Dr. Taylor's seminar in January. He has become very excited about the hope and practical tips he gained from the presentation. "I knew I had to change my attitude and try to understand Tim more," he said. "It seemed like Dr. Taylor must be living in my house. Everything he said was true."

Wally has now joined M.O.M.S. and is leading the establishment of a monthly solution-oriented support group on the Westside of Cleveland where people can exchange ideas, learn what other people are doing and not feel alone. "There's hundreds of us out there looking for solutions that don't involve medication," he said.

Mary Kay is a fifth grade teacher in the Fairview Park School System. Out of 25 students, 6 are ADD/ADHD. She has successfully implemented many of Taylor's strategies into her classroom, all of which benefit the entire class. Organization is an issue, so some ADHD children have a map on the inside of their desks showing where to keep everything. Weekly desk cleaning helps keep things in order. Various techniques taught by Dr. Taylor, including colored folders, detailed assignment notebooks, regular communication with parents, minimized sitting time and private hand signals when attention wanders are all tools that have brought peace to her classroom.

Taylor is excited about the rapidly expanding recent ADD/ADHD research breakthroughs on brain neurotoxicology, allergies, nutrition and alternative health practices such as massage and acupuncture. Linda Taylor has studied Reiki healing, and family members practice it on each other.

Taylor also sees benefit in spirituality for these children and has seen the positive effect of Latter Day Saints' practices in his own home. "Love is the primary need. It is the rock on which sound discipline must rest," he wrote in "Helping Your Hyperactive/ADD Child." He said, "Spiritual connection helps anybody in their life. Alfred Adler said, 'Everybody needs to come to peace with their relationship to the cosmos.' The more they adopt loving your neighbor as yourself, the Golden Rule, the better."

John F. Taylor, Ph.D.
A.D..D.-Plus
PO Box 1035
Sandpoint, Idaho 83864
1-800-VIP-1-ADD (800-847-1233)
Web: www.add-plus.com

M.O.M.S. and information about Dr. Taylor's seminar in Northeast Ohio: Kate Preece, 440-331-6432

ADD/ADHD Support Group: Wally Wysong, 216-496-8548